Thursday, August 20, 2015

Moving On...

I think the main reason we don't like moving on is because it's a cause for change. And as humans, we don't like change. Which is weird considering we don't like eating the same thing everyday...

But sometimes you don't know it, and life gives you the most inevitable change possible...and in that moment, you hate life. You don't want it to change. You want things to be the way they are. But why are we so resistant to change? I mean, not all change is bad. In fact, most of the changes are good. We don't know it because we're programmed to think they're bad.

When I left Zambia for India, I didn't know what to expect. I was very much against the idea of moving to India. I didn't want to be around people I don't know and most certainly did not want a change in cultural and social norms. But when I got there, I understood how I was completely wrong about India. I grew to love the place, and not just because the food was nice but because I made some amazing friends!

After establishing a fantastic social circle in India, I didn't want to leave that and move to Swansea. Don't get me wrong, I was excited to move, but at the same time, I wasn't sure if people abroad would be as chilled and fun as the friends I made in Bangalore.

Yet again, my expectations proved me wrong. I met, once more, an amazing group of friends in Swansea and they made the experience all the more culturally fulfilling and equally fun! And having never lived by the sea, Swansea certainly made me a beach lover.

Now that this journey has come to an end, I'm moving back to India. And because my previous experience with India was amazing, I'm not scared of this change. It's giving me an opportunity to move on. I've made some sensible decisions in Swansea, but also some rather stupid ones. And I have a chance to move on. I am definitely scared to move on from student life to work life. But that's change innit? Inexorable. Inevitable. Surprising. And a mix of good and bad. If you want to move on, you gotta let go of the past, let go of expectations and most importantly, let go of yourself. And if you understood that, you, my friend, are ready for a change :)

Saturday, August 8, 2015

SOCIAL NORMS

A lot of things we do are because of social norms. Kinda like, "What will the neighbours think?"

Why do we have to do things because our neighbours are going to say something? I don't even talk to my neighbours. The problem is that people always need some sort of gossip to talk about. If I came home with a boy, who could be my cousin for all they know, it would still turn out be the gossip of our neighbourhood..."Oh you know! She brought home a boy and they locked the doors!" Do you even realise how disturbing that is?!

If it's not that, it's something else. There's always something else. "Haan beta. You've finished your masters. Now time to get married uh?" Uh no. There's something called "a job." I didn't go abroad, work hard, have my dad invest in me so much, to just get married. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against marriage. It'll happen. Just not now. And not for the sake of making society happy.

It's even little things. Just the other day, my friend and I were talking about how if we don't attend a dinner that some family friend has invited us for, that's it. That's enough material for them to start - "She didn't even say hello and I personally called her and invited here!" No you didn't. You called my mother. Do you even know my number? -_-

Like seriously. Einstein was right - for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In this case, it's just an opposite reaction.

Disclaimer - not a personal attack at anyone. So don't go and speak around and say, "oh, she wrote a blog post about this and that. How could she?" -_-

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Love should not be taken lightly

Do you know what it's like to love someone unconditionally? To listen to and remember every little detail of their numerous stories...dated back to even a year ago. To go through their mood swings with them - their highs, mehs and lows. To create an abundance of memories - pranks, arguments, parties, silence, hugs, tickles, distance...

Distance, misunderstandings, miscommunication, being taken for granted, separate lives - circumstances that end a love like that. Overwhelming. I'll never put myself through that again....invest myself in someone so much.

The fear of losing someone you love is something we all go through. But that's love. It never leaves you. It always surrounds you. You rarely see it. You choose not to see it. You're taken for granted and it is gut wrenching. But who have you been taking for granted? .

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Hindi Movies and The Friend 'Back Up'

After having watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and going through a nostalgic trip down memory lane, the movie brought on a different perspective from the happy ending it offers. As the same with the following movies with similar story lines: Cocktail, Mujhse Dosti Karoge, Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikandar, Yes Boss...so mainly Bollywood movies :P

So here goes...

Intense and deep relationships between friends can lead to complications. Not all. Not some. But a good number. If not between the friends, between others. One way or another, our relationships with individuals somehow unite as a whole and affect each other. Or maybe that's just how I see it.

A friendship between opposite sexes starts off very simple. And many have maintained to be simple. But some complications can arise - misunderstandings, one liking the other, getting into relationships therefore abandoning the friendship, jealousy and many other things.

A friendship between opposite sexes also can lead to a "back up" plan...ya know, the one that took place in the famous TV show too - FRIENDS. "By the age of 40, if we're both single, we'll marry each other." Just perfect.

...but not when one of the two people likes the other. Being a back up option for someone you're in love with can turn out to be the worst feeling on earth. But you don't like feeling this way because you don't want it to affect the beautiful friendship that has bloomed. It's a frenzy, confusing and by far one of the worst emotional journeys to go through.

I have no advice whatsoever. Cutting off ties seems to be the most practical solution. But is it really? Why should you abandon a friendship just because your feelings are in the way? Then again, don't you have any self respect? Do you really want to end up with a guy who you're in love with, but looks at you as a back up option?

Image Source: Google
"Cutting Ties" :P
(Also, I like to think I'm funny)
Relationships can be very complicated. We don't realise it till strong emotions come in to...well...test the relationship.

Looks like Anjali managed to get a happy ending after years and years. Does it work that way in today's era? Do let me know! :)

Monday, June 15, 2015

Sense8

This show got me thinking. There are so many underlying theories, discussions and thoughts that can come about by watching just one episode of the show.

THE CONCEPT

There are 8 people, all connected - they all can feel what one can feel. They can communicate with each other through eye connections even if they are in different parts of the world - and they are - UK, USA, Germany, India, Kenya and a few others.

MY THOUGHTS

> Falling in love within the 8 of you can be a form of narcissism.
> Isn't this how some of us are? Invested so much in a relationship that we tend to be with the other, even if not physically, but in some form thanks to technology.
> Do people like this actually exist? Is this what telepathy is?
> It's like a messed up inception - how do you know what's real and what's not?
> Character development is sorta not there. You just figure out the character by instinct, which is a risk on the writers' part but well done I believe. It's easy to understand them given the connection they all share.
> My favourite character has to be Capheus, not just because he's from Africa (though that was an added factor), but because he's the only guy who seems to do what's right. No time for games. Also, he enjoys the simple things in life. Like the scene with Riley on the plane has to be one of my favourite scenes. 

FAVOURITE QUOTES

"Who we are is less relevant than what we are."

"There's a huge difference between what we work for and what we live for."

"Life and death are always so mixed up together; some beginnings are endings and some endings become beginnings."

"Sometimes when you make a mistake, you've two choices - either live with it, or fix it."

TRAILER


Thursday, June 11, 2015

Emotional Baggage?

The epitome of true friendship lies in many things. But the one thing I probably would expect is being there. Not physically but emotionally.

Everyone carries emotional baggage - be it dramatic, small or even stupid - we all do. Some are lucky to have someone in their lives to exhaust it on - a venting machine (geddit?) Others just find other ways to channel the frustration - art, music, writing, going for a walk, plummet into work...and so on.

Relationships change. People change. Life changes. It's all inexorable. And everyone knows this. It's not new.

But what many people don't realise is that the change is very effective on various things in life. It could change an entire relationship - its dynamic, communication, perspectives and perhaps even the level of likability. When change happens, that's when the true character of certain people is revealed.

Some people love changes. A constant in life can be quite annoying. But sometimes, a constant is a good thing.

I really don't know what the theme of this post is. I just feel like it's been a while since I did an emotional post. Maybe I had to channel my emotional baggage*. :)

*my emotional baggage - the sadness of many TV shows ending and job applications.

This song is dedicated to my job applications...because they're always in my head:


'Always in my head' by Coldplay

Monday, May 4, 2015

Racism

Having lived in Zambia for most of my life, it is sad to see that the people who made Zambia home for me are being treated the way this video portrays it:


If there's one thing that living in Zambia has taught me, it is to be kind to one another; to have empathy; to not discriminate; Zambians have taught me that skin colour is nothing but a colour. It is who you are that determines whether one likes you or not.

I have never faced any form of racism in Zambia, or any African country. On the contrary, I was always accepted for who I am. My friends never made me feel left out, never spoke behind my back, never made me feel left out...so why are we, in India, doing the complete opposite?

I understand that not everyone has the attitude that the video portrays. In fact, I am sure that you, who are reading this, are equally disgusted by the attitudes that are discussed in the video.

I just felt like expressing my opinion. I am heartbroken to see my second family being treated like this in my country of origin. This is just sad...

Source: http://www.mensxp.com/special-features/today/25925-african-nationals-share-how-they-are-treated-in-india-and-its-shameful.html